Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
