I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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