saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
