Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
