highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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