Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I will pee on everything he values.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
