It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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