No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
