I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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