they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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