dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
