I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
