just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Randomize