I just pynch a tree in the face
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize