Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
