I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
