Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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