my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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