it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
