In the future we'll all be gay
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
