The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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