there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
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