hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
