Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
