btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
