I think scott just propositioned me for sex
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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