I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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