It's Friday. Sex?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
