Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
