You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I FOUND THE LEGS
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
