I think I am morally bankrupt
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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