Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
