And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Pants 0. Shit 1.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
