She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
