I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
did i walk over a car last night?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
