i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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