Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize