I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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