Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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