am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
