I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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