So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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