and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
