Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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