Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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