Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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