I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
you never un-have a 4some
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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