shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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