dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
