Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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