I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Two words: blizzard sex
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize