I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Holy sore nipples Batman
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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