Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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