he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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