We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
