So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize