Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
