My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
