i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
