been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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