If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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