im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
