in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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