8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize