on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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