My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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