Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
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