I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
