His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
