yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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